Well, this is usually the point in my Sunday morning where I'd be sitting in Mosiac Class waiting for Mr. Power to start speaking on The Sovereignty of God in Sin and Suffering (yeah, it's as deep as it sounds... still can't get my mind around it) but lo and behold, other plans today. I think the little pukky sickness my sister had got passed along to me and also I kept thinking, "There's only so long you can go at a break-neck pace before something breaks." It's not a deadly sickness, praise God, and I'm thankful for extra sleep and some quiet now that everyone's gone to church.
Does anyone else ever feel pressure to be emotional about spiritual things? I went to the annual Women's conference at church this weekend. I'm feeling oddly (for me) emotionally balanced and sometimes I hear people saying something like, "Knowing Jesus and being loved by him is the most exciting thing that could ever happen to someone!" And my heart goes, "Yes, I know it and I've felt it, but is it okay that I don't feel it right now? Is it okay that I just agree without this gushing wellspring of emotion making me cry and laugh and dance?"
The drama queen in me is surprised and maybe a little miffed to find that worship is possibly without drastic outbreaks of emotion. Thinking about it made me laugh. God must chuckle a little too, when he sees all the drama I drag around with me. No matter what I'm feeling - or not feeling - he just wants me to come.
Truth being, though, the Gospel is the only thing that will make me truly grateful. I will wait for the heart-response to come again and do my best to praise God while I'm waiting.
his love is not static
it doesn't sit and wait
his love is an invader
he came to us
we are conquered
his prize of gold
he, the antidote,
to our love-sickness
after him, all else
is gray, shot with tedium
he is gold
the face of an Overwhelming Lover
his love cannot be static
it makes me stay and worship
thankful for -
353 healthy food that tastes amazing!
354 grace to stick with a resolution
355 fortitude because it's such a God-inspired word
356 having eleven days til my taxes are due to be filed
357 my ipod being all charged for several upcoming bike commutes
358 the way the puffy shredded clouds offer their softness to the stars in the night sky
359 the gigantic rodent that was crossing the street AWAY from our house
360 the smell of sheets dried in the sun and wind
361 sweatpants days
362 talking to Mrs. C over a caramel latte
363 the way ducks wobble when they walk very fast