Thursday, September 22, 2011

If This, Then God

Tonight was a good night. I wore purple plaid, ate grilled cheese and took a long hot bath. Did you know some people say spending time in water is a necessary part of maintaining mental sanity? It's like therapy... reminding us of what it was like in our mother's womb. I love the sound of water against my eardrums. I love how everything seems so faraway.

I've recently recalled a thing called Hope. I relive words I wrote a long time ago and they remain true, but I can see I've taken a few steps forward. It gives me more hope. I'm not where I once was. 

Beth Moore was talking about her fears once. You know that fear, where the very beginning thoughts of it just paralyze you? In her case, she was fearing that her husband would leave her. She would just begin to think about it and it would give her panic attacks. She had a conversation with God that I think about a lot. She said God asked her to take her fears to their furthest extent. She walked through what would happen if her husband did leave her. She said, "Well God, it would be just you and me and I'd pray a lot and memorize a whole lot of scripture and we'd make it through. You've seen me through a huge number of things and I know you won't leave me now." She brought it down to this equation.

If _______(your greatest fear), then God. 

When God says nothing can separate me from his love, baby, he means nothing. Not even my own stupidity. So there, self. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. 

Oh and I put lights up in my room. This is currently my view from where I'm sitting. Every morning I feel like I'm living in a fairytale, like Tangled when they released all the lanterns. 


Listening to Brandi Carlile - The Story (Seriously, listen to what this girl can do with her voice. It's crazyridiculousfabulously cool.)

thankful with Ann for -

593 napping in the sun
594 in the sight of my weakness and his awesome work, my strength of soul increases
595 the joy of my church family, rejoicing that Victor's battle with cancer is over
596 though our physical bodies die, our life in Christ flourishes today and will forever
597 blueberry banana whip by the campfire
598 a gentleman with a cast and crutches managing to hold the door for me and another lady
599 my mother buying me a pink plaid shirt - just what I wanted
600 the invention of glass windows
601 nursing assistant training
602 spiral bound notecards
603 google translate


  1. then God.

    oh how i love Beth Moore. that woman wears God like a garment. <3

  2. the lights look really cool...i usually do not wear purple when i take a bath, but taking a grilled cheese along might be the

  3. Brandi Carlile "Forever Young.." Listen to it, I love that girl.

    And you;)

    Oh, and it is a goal in my life to be at a lantern party. It will happen.

  4. If your worst fear is drugs, I'm going to vote you don't put it in your pipe and smoke it. Just sayin'.

    And God is the ground of hope and faith. <3