Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I Have Another House


Last week, a new resident moved into one of our assisted living homes. Because of her advanced dementia, she can't stay with her family any longer. Her transition has been touchy. When she's not humming along with any music she hears or coloring in her five-year-old coloring books, she sits in her chair, repeating over and over to herself, "This is not my house. This is not my house. I don't live here." Brow crinkly-anxious and thick hands angrily pounding on the chair arms, she does not understand why she's still here and her family hasn't come yet. Also, who was this frustrating girl who keeps telling me I'm supposed to be here?

Today, I worked with her a long time. When she told me this wasn't her house and she has a house, a 'red-brick house, with lots of milk and a bigger bed', I told her, "You have two houses. You're at your other one them right now. There's milk at this house too and here is your other bed." I think she understood. Gradually, she'd calm as she began saying. "I have another house. I have another house. They're coming for me."

I wonder... if being in the world, not of it, looks a little bit like that. This world is not my home, but I live here. I have another house and He's coming for me.

R<3


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17 comments:

  1. Brian MillerAugust 17, 2011 at 3:57 AM

    rather scary where she is right now...her words haunt me a bit...i like where you took it though...

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  2. rjerdeeAugust 17, 2011 at 8:44 AM

    A splendid idea...that of another home.

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  3. Brother OllieAugust 17, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    I thought this, more or less, today. Thanks.

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  4. happygirlAugust 17, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    This breaks my heart. It is the biggest fear I have for my mom. Or myself, for that matter.

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  5. JAugust 17, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    Your words gave me chills....I love the parallel you made with this devastated woman being uprooted to waiting for our true home. You are right. This isn't our home. And until we are with Him, we will feel misplaced. I have often thought that this world is like a prison. To some, this sounds depressing....but when you think of the absolute awe-inspiring world we will one day live in, even the most ideal life here on earth, will seem drab and colorless. TO be clear: I am so grateful for God's blessings here on earth, though. I think what really jumped out at me with your passage, though, is how blessed this woman was to have a kind spirit like you to endure this heartache with her.

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  6. UnknownAugust 17, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    There is a richness in your ministry and in the words you have left on this page that I cannot begin to touch with words. You have given her shelter. You have given her a foundation. You have given her hope for the life that surrounds her.

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  7. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    oh, how precious you are! you have made such a difference in this woman's life...hugs to you. <3

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  8. life or something like itAugust 17, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    my grandma is slipping to hear. thank you for where you made your point...none of us are home..

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  9. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    oh what a thought!
    thank you for sharing that.
    praying for you as you bless her!

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  10. LauraAugust 17, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    beautiful compassionate writing, you are wise beyond your years in this "home-earth" with a heart filled with lovingkindness.

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  11. AnonymousAugust 18, 2011 at 4:05 AM

    What a beautiful way to calm her. It is hard to see this, but what a blessing you are to her.

    M.

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  12. UnknownAugust 18, 2011 at 4:34 AM

    God really used you to love on her. And I wonder the same, is that how not being of the world is viewed? Our time and our home here is temporary, a home away from home.
    <3

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  13. Amy NaborsAugust 18, 2011 at 5:59 AM

    Beautiful thoughts. We definitely need to remember this is only our temporary home.

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  14. Sarah DawneéAugust 18, 2011 at 11:17 AM

    My precious Mema has dementia and just moved into a new group home after having a heart attack.
    This isn't about her, but reminds me of aspects of what she is going through.
    This post caused me to tear up.

    It sounds like she is very blessed to have you working with her.
    Thank you for sharing.
    It was beautifully written.

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  15. Jasper IllusianAugust 18, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    You really do have an amazing gift with your residents. It's so beautiful to hear about.

    And then you go and write about it in a lovely way. Wonderful job. =)

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  16. Mommy EmilyAugust 20, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    oh my goodness ruthiey. this gave me shivers. what a tender story... xo

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  17. Gabriella McGeeAugust 22, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    I used to visit my aunt Lita in a nursing home and every time we went, her roommate would always be saying to herself, "help. Help. Help." Over and over. I felt incredibly sorry for her..my grandma talked to her for a long time once and afterwards the old lady only said help a few times while we were there.

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