I don't like waking up. Nothing surprising there, but I've recently figured out why. I usually wake up with an awareness of my sin so heavy that it feels like a forty-five pound weight on my shoulders. It's discouraging, debilitating, if I don't take it straight to God. Sometimes, I'll stew around in how hopeless it is, how helpless I am. I'm wallowing in Satan's lies; I don't know why I hang on them like they'd actually help.
This morning was some such morning. Easter morning, I hear birds outside and I resent it. Who are you to celebrate? You are senseless creatures - stop singing. Then I feel guilty and more guilty. I can't stand it. I can't stand it because they're so right and I'm so wrong. This is a morning worth dancing about, the anniversary of an event that deserves sunshine, flowers, beautiful singing and everything wonderful we humans can conceive. I just wonder what kind of party they're having in heaven.
That's why we rejoice so much. It's our resurrection too! We're not just stolidly standing by, applauding a miracle. We're crying and jumping and cheering ourselves hoarse, because as we see this glorious God-man emerge, we see ourselves, alive, breathing, pure, held in his arms. It is a miracle and we're part of it. His tomb is the holding cell for my old self, the sin I hate, the weight I don't have to bear.
He is alive and praise Jesus, so am I!
R<3
Listening to Bebo Norman - Can't Live Without You
that was wonderful and i really needed to read that. thnx so much for taking the time to write that. praise Jesus that He rose and conquered sin, death, sickness and Satan on our behalf! and we no longer have to fear guilt!
ReplyDeleteRufiey! Your blog got huge!
ReplyDeleteRuthie, wow. I needed to hear that.
ReplyDelete