Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a drama queen. There's something dreadfully exciting and addicting about creating situations in my head and imagining that everything hinges on a single event. I go through my share of adrenaline.
It comes with costs, though. Sometimes the drama in my head blows situations with friends and aquaintances into something bigger than a hot air balloon. Sometimes it makes me believe things that would seem ridiculous if I could keep my feet on the ground. I've been learning to choose what drama I invest in. Hard lesson, let me tell you.
Despite mishaps, there are some things positive about drama. First thing, there really is a life-and-death, cement and grass world full of tearing and breakage. My awareness of drama is not unrealistic. Drama exists. People get sick. People need healing and restoration with God.
I'm thankful for drama because when it makes me feel like I'm on the razor-edge of something terrible, like I'm teetering on the cliff of forever-nothingness and then... then, I find God. He totally gets me and my drama. He feels huge emotions too, sweepingly strong love, desperately black hatred - what's more, he created those emotions. I can come falling and crawling and crying, full of drama and he can handle it. He listens and I once again find him to be everything I need him to be.
One of my favorite dramatic musician friends is Bebo Norman. One of his songs is called Can't Live Without You.
You found me here
I'm barely breathing
You picked me up
But I'm still wanting more
You're the ocean deep
I'm in up to my knees
Wanting desperately to drown
You're the one bright part
Of my languid heart
You're the love I cannot live without
I can't live without
I can't live without you
Can you hold on, because you hold everything
Sounds like drama, but it's all true. This kind of drama, this acute knowing how much I need God, this desperation - this is the kind of drama I need all day long.