Spider Dreams

Sorry to JD, who was just saying how nice my pictures were, but I need to portray something here. Okay, so this morning at 4:23 or so, I woke up, in a hot sweat. I picked up my phone and proceeded to write a note about what I had just dreamt.

The outline of a big spider coming out over the top of my bag caught my eye as I was hanging it up on a hook just a little taller than I.

I was startled. "Wow, look at that!"

Vibrant black and red, it sat, almost like a crab or daddy-long-legs, angled on many stiff, shiny, black legs, some of which were thicker than drinking straws. Its head was squarish, with two rows of black eyes of various sizes, a strip of wiry fur partly hiding its bitty teeth and the bottom half - its neck and underside were bright vampire red.

This dramatic entrance prompted me to reach for my camera, which was in the front flap of my bag, a few inches away from the spider. As I worked to get it out, I felt the first stab of distrust toward the innocence of this arachnid. When I closed my hand on the silver coolness, the spider moved forward - not jerkily, but far quicker than I wanted or imagined it could. I hadn't wanted to touch it, but here it came, somewhat drunkenly pushing itself against the upper part of my hand, smushing itself into the curve of my thumb where it met my hand. It reared back and there, on my hand were four small holes, two regular spiderbite size and two twice as big above, all yellow-brown on the inside.

As I digested this dream, I realized I probably would never have my standard fearless attitude towards spiders ever again. Ah well, not a big loss, right?

Except now, I'm scared to reach under my bed and dust quiet corners.

Instead of growing braver, I'm growing more fearful in my old age. I hate to think what life will be like when I'm actually ninty-seven.

Actually, I say this mostly jokingly. I know God's in control and I'm totally safe. (That's what I was referring to in my last post. I know that if God wants me to get sick, or hurt or take away people in my life, that I'll be okay. I was just saying that I'm inside his sovereignty.)

Ohh! I must tell you all this! You probably weren't aware of my issue, but now your minds can rest at ease. I like Christmas music now. I used to detest it. I know it's not a very Christ-like thing, probably, but it was true. I would block my ears and generally try my best to end it.

All that is behind me now.

My rescuer? Ultimately, God, but he used guess who...

BEBO NORMAN!

Yep. Goodness, I appreciate that guy so much it's hard to say. Honestly, I never would've thought I would like Christmas music.

In other news, I'm filling out an E-harmony dot com profile, just for fun. Apparently, I can be very much

moral

sensual

resilient

passionate

vivacious

wise

well-educated

and caring

while being not at all

communicative

healthy

honest

knowledeable

reflective

rational

or genuine

Funny stuff. I'll probably be disqualified for being insincere.

Furthermore, I was looking forward to chatting with Bialy and Rosanne tonight, but as they are not getting on and it's six minutes til my online time is over, I think it will not be.

I got the week off work, accidentally. It's good, though. I need time to reconnect with my goals for my life and also get to know my dear Savior more.

Live well, friends. I'm sorry if I gave anyone else a new fear of spiders. Truly.

R<3