Monday, April 16, 2012

How To Talk Someone Out Of Being Afraid

  • Be aghast. Express surprise at the subject or depth of their fear. Make them feel that their case is special and an odd one. 
  • Emphasize facts. Immediately begin a logical rundown of statistical probabilities. Be sure to reiterate the outlandishness of their fear. 
  • Make a list. Counsel them by creating a list of missed opportunities and ways their lives have failed due to this fear. Take some liberties with the breadth and implications of this list because this will probably be a breaking point for them. 
  • Talk a lot. Be sure to be thorough and even a little forceful. Fearful people need to hear lots of words before they can begin to process them.
  • Make it personal. Begin saying, "Stop it!" forcefully whenever they refer to what makes them afraid. Tell them that once they've decided they don't want to be afraid, that they should never talk about what frightens them again.
  • Finish up by referring to some Bible verses about fear and peace. Keep it vague so they'll explore it further themselves following your conversation. Tell them you will pray for them, but don't pray for them right then. It can often intensify a situation to an uncomfortable degree.

Congratulations! You've just talked someone out of being afraid.


  1. smiles...some good wisdom in this ruthiey...

    so what are you up to now?

  2. Sweet! I'll try friend is one little scaredy cat;)

  3. this is SO brilliant, and sharp, and witty. I smiled all the way through – and I get it! I really get it! Well done! Of course you did forget to put in the two words that are sure to calm down ANYONE in a panic...

    "Calm down" :)

    it's a perfect little thing that you've written today. God bless and keep you Ruthiey!!