Friday, August 12, 2011

In Which I Find Myself Praying For Complications

For my final project in Managerial Communications, I have to write about a situation involving conflict in my workplace. My only trouble is... I can't think of any! Yes, I have a perfect job. Don't hate it me for it. It makes my schoolwork that much harder.

So, ridiculously enough, I've found myself praying that some conflict would happen so I'll have something dynamic to write about. Banking on two things here, this verse - "In all things... let your requests be made known to God." and God's ability to give me exactly what I need, even when I pray for silly things. :D

Changing directions... have you ever heard someone say, "The joy of the Lord is my strength!" and it didn't make sense to you? Okay, so God is joyful but I am sad and tired and I still have work to do.

Let me explain what I think it means. God's joy is the most powerful force in the universe. It's like a raging whirlwind of power, of majesty and awe. When we get a glimpse of it, we will be caught up it, torn away from our own preoccupation, tearing up on billowing wonder to a height where we can get a true perspective on life.

In my recent resolution to let my Dreamer breathe, I finished a short story. This bit is about an encounter with God. It describes what I'm trying to say about our need to be part of the Joy that is God.

The stars, oh the stars - his soul was bursting, shooting, exploding from a deep place, a raging oil spill now set aflame. It grew the distance between the elusiveness of light above and his dried-up mind couldn't gulp wonder faster, pouring the swallows down onto a dehydrated soul. It was more than waking up; it was being born again, sweaty and slimy from the darkness, tumbling forward into a bath of ivory awe.

That's the goal - seeing our joyful God equals awe which empowers surrender and service. But what if I'm not there? What if I have no amazement of God? Am I cut off from God's joy being my strength?

This morning, I most definitely was not feeling it. I had a lot of school. I wasn't happy, or content. I wasn't joyful in the least. I could only manage a sort of broken squeak to God. Father, please help me. I'm not there.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in his word I hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchman wait for the dawn. ...hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love and with him is plentiful redemption. Psalm 130:5-7

In his book when I Don't Desire God, John Piper says, "If your emotions are wrong, repent and ask God to change them!" (paraphrased) Ask God for eyes to see his joy and if you have to wait, wait. Wait in hope. Pray for the joy of the Lord to be your strength even when you don't feel it.



  1. an oil spill set to, that is certainly descriptive...

    does the conflict have to be real? you could go simple and do fighting over a shift...or perceived inequality leading to a strain on relationships....

  2. I just got the chills. Your writing is so beautiful. I was reading this and listening to music and the exact moment I started reading your story, the song "Joy" came on by Page CXVI. Love it.

  3. Wonderful description for an even more wonderful post. I love how you're honest in your posts and even when you're down, you're encouraging. *squish* I hope God's joy spreads to your soul soon. =)

    And thanks a bazillion for coming to my birthday. =) It was awesome (awesome awesome awesome awesome) to see you. =) And have you make me laugh so much I could barely breathe. Naughty girl. =P