Last night at Kohls, there were lots of guys coming in with their girlfriends to shop. I was confused. I hoped it was a celebration in anticipation of their being mothers someday.
Remember my post about how I hate sunday mornings? Well, I think I've discovered why and how to combat it. Don't you love finally finding answers to things that seem like constant nagging problems? The reason I was having such a frustrating and unfruitful time is because I was wearing the itchy, too small, mustard-yellow wool sweater of self-centerness. This, from my thought closet makeover, in bible study. I love how Jennifer relates a lot of sins to clothing - it brings the reality of sin into vivid life experience. ^_^
My entire attitude, from when I woke up, til I came home from church and sometimes on into the afternoon, was one of entitlement. I deserve more time to get dressed and I only want to talk to people who are easy to talk to, won't make me feel uncomfortable and want things from me. I want people to admire me (and that's why I'd fuss over my clothing) and I don't want anyone to know anything bad about me. Because of these thoughts, I'd be distant, morose, avoid people and generally make myself miserable.
Here's the part of my bible study that really brought it into perspective and gave me that long awaited 'ah-ha moment'.
'I need a better guide than my thoughts and emotions. I need God's Spirit to lead me to truth and so do you. Take part in your own "I Spy" game with Philippians 4:8. What is troubling in your thought closet today? What thoughts or situations are you dealing with today? Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of truth as you fill in the following activity.What do you spy and why? Let me start you off. I spy something true because: I can embrace God's promise to give me strength no matter how tired I am.I spy something true because: I can embrace the promise that I am completely, radically loved.I spy something honorable because: God has given me good (ministry) opportunities with ReneeI spy something right because: It's good to teach the Bible to little kids (yes, I even made myself discontent with teaching two and three-year-olds in nursery!)I spy something pure because: I believe God is preparing my husband for me and I want to be ready (anyone else struggle with thinking a lot about marriage and 'possibilities' at church?)I spy something lovely because: God's mercies never come to an endI spy something of good repute because: I choose to trust God who will not let me down.I spy something excellent because: The body of Christ is a place where it's safe to be open.'
Those truths, used in that way, have totally changed the way I approach sunday mornings and the rest of life. God wouldn't tell me to rejoice if there was nothing to rejoice about! He directing my wayward, self-obsessed heart heavenward. He wants me to look up. When I lift my eyes to the never-ending sky of God's blessing lit by the healing sun of his grace, I receive a new attitude. My mustard-yellow disaster is taken off, shredded and I slip on a new cashmere sweater in emerald green. And it looks good on me because God made it.
Return, oh my soul, to your rest for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
I'll try to keep posting regularly during school. I'm sure I'll have some great stories from riding on the bus. ^_^ Oh and shout out to my Mum (this is her blog)! She's the best, most beautiful mum ever!
Listening to Hillsong - Mighty To Save