This is my tribute, my thanksgiving song for a God who is wise, wonderful and close. I am an unskilled conductor who cannot line up words and make them sing. So I tell you what happens, movement and language to try to frame in stories my incredible Savior. Do you see? I hope you do.
This morning, I wrote, I told Mum and Daddio that I feel depressed. It's true. My energy is sapped away just by the most basic living and emotions. Please Father, come hold me, shush my frantic mind and give me peace which passes all understanding.
Biking to work, I started crying. So many things overwhelmed me that I didn't even worry that my tears would freeze in the icy wind. I can't do this alone. I can't go to work. I can't be me. I can't function today. Please God, please come and be near. Be near, like stand right next to me - or better yet behind me because I'm falling. I've fallen. I need you.
Somehow, a miracle given to a thirsty daughter, I received hope. It was hope that sustained my day, that let me smile and even laugh and keep doing the things I needed to do, even bringing a surprise oasis of joy.
Later, I sang a song and my soul dwelt amazed on this line. It was truth, from a place I'd known.
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call
That morning, I came tumbling, sobbing, wretched, complicated, dragging remnants of rebellion and unbelief, unable to cope. I found a Father, calling me his own, never leaving me alone. He is near. Do you see? Oh, I hope you do.