Saturday, March 23, 2013

Seeking and Resting in Doolin

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.*


I guess I suspected that this time away would be a time when God would have me work on some things. He likes to do that when I have time alone, away from common scenes and days filled with activity. (Jak is having some marvelous revelations herself, check out this post.)

Today, I'm camped out at our adorable hostel in Doolin, resting up my knee. It became a little wonky after my gleeful retreat down the Mourne Mountain ridge. It's not a huge concern at this point, but I want to be wise and so I dutifully waved goodbye as the big sister headed off on a hike along the cliffs of Moher. Please anticipate the pictures coming later, because it's a gorgeous area.

So with nothing to do, but self-imposed orders to rest, I puttered about our room, watching some Cake Boss episodes and then going for a walk. Doolin is definitely a tourist town. The absolute most common business I came across was a bed and breakfast, a hotel or a hostel. Crazy. That makes it difficult to actually get real groceries however and instead of walking 3km (or 1.8 miles) to the nearest convenience store/petrol station for dinner tonight, I stopped by a cafe and mentally calculated what ingredients I could put in a wrap that would enhance the creamy rice soup we had left over. I thought I was really clever, of course with chicken, olives, cheese and lots and lots of garlic mayo. Yum. We will eat well tonight. 

I'm getting a little distracted. Today, I was struggling to actually go talk to God. It bothers me a lot when that happens, but sometimes my brain struggles with how to seek God. Honestly, it's more than my brain; there's bits of rebellious heart and clueless self-dependent soul in there. 

Finally, I settled in with a huge pot of tea and tried to settle out what was clogging this essential communication. The usual suspects were flushed forth; fear, doubt, pride and self-reliance. I was wanting boundaries, time-limits, black line goals that I could attain. The danger of that is my attempts to squish God into my little to-do list is that it could all explode my face or become entirely fake.

God will not be contained like that. Yes, his tenderness, his goodness allows him to meet us even in brief times of seeking, but he's not going to be summoned and sent away like some genie.

Galway Cathedral  

I wrote this so I'd have some focus on what is happening when I go to God.

How To Seek God: 
1) Pray for everything - pray for grace to approach, grace to see, grace to know, grace to learn, grace to change.
2) Remember everything - remember how sinful you are, remember how awesome God is, remember how far the gap was, remember how big a step Jesus took to bridge it, remember that you are ushered in on Jesus' righteousness, remember the gracious compassion that comes from your now-Father, remember that you are heard
3) Learn something - grab some nugget, some new glimpse, some fresh path and hold it up to yourself, affix it to your soul. Questions show a heart of awe and trust; questions show humility and a desire to know. God promises to honor that*.

(rainbow over Galway bay)

For everyone praying for my homesickness, I'm doing a little better, but I still miss everyone! Feels like a dagger in my chest and I'm only kidding a little. Having the timezone six hours off doesn't help with trying to catch people online. I will be fine, though, I promise.

Listening to Damian McGinty - Take Care Of Yourself
(HAHAHA, I did not make this up. Thanks for caring about my knee, Damian. <3 span="">


  1. Ruthiey, we sat with your Mom, Dad and Esther at a south Missions Fellowship last night. Esther said she misses you too. It's cold and sortta grey and a bit nasty here to be honest - your dafodil pic and the rainbow in Galway Bay made me yearn to be able to walk outside and not have fifteen layers. Loved your 'how to seek God' list: may He put people in your way today to love and give you healing for your knee.

  2. I've got to heartily agree to the walking outside without being bundled up!

  3. Homesickness isn't like a dagger in the chest, it's like something is freaking trying to RIP YOUR INNARDS OUT. >.< Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel. But then God reminds me that I wouldn't have good emotions, either... *sigh*

    I'm so proud of you and your honesty. Trust me, I understand. I've started realizing, coming back 'home,' that it's actually a prison. I've imprisoned the world (or so I thought, I was actually imprisoning myself) outside... And I can't get through the bars when I'm here. I can, but it is REALLY HARD. Yeah. Facing God without the distractions of your everyday life is HARD. Amazing and beautiful, but also painful and hard. Ugh.

    Yay you, though! <3