I was walking outside in the sunshine this morning and it hit me. Well, nothing hit me, but I was thinking about various things, primarily the huge gap between what people say they believe and how they act. And when I say 'people', I mean me. Why do I say so many holy things and so rarely do them?
Then I thought - and it was such a brain-wave that I texted it to myself so I wouldn't forget it - It's not a question of whether I am a princess or not, but whether or not I'm going to act like one.
Think of any one of those various movies, like Princess Diaries, where the seemingly ordinary girl discovers she's actually a princess and she has to go live at the castle and unlearn all her bad manners and poor ways of dressing and gradually she becomes a polished, lovely woman, who knows the right thing to say (The right thing to say is 'Thank you' -Roman Holiday) and when to say it and is realized in the perfection of her beauty.
What if, she moves into the castle and doesn't change? What if she keeps her rude way of eating spaghetti and can't seem to break the habit of running down the halls and ripping her gown? What if she can't control her tongue and continues to say rude or inappropriate things to those around her? What if she won't dress like a princess but always slouches around in sweats? What if she won't participate in princess activities, but watches tv for hours on end and can't seem to get a hold on algebraic theorems and doesn't seem to care?
Does any of that make her less of a princess? No, because it's her heritage and she had nothing to do with becoming royalty. She is still a princess. A bit of a shame to the King, no doubt, but still a princess.
So often, I doubt my identity. I think that's the root of much of my discouragement and all the fights in my mind. I need the White Knight to ride in and remind me that I live in the castle and I belong there. (All this reminds me of the story I wrote awhile back.) I am a princess. I am a princess. I want to bring glory to my King by being the most gracious, humble and servant-like princess I can be, because my King is grace, he is humility and he was the ultimate servant.
So there's my post. I need to tell everyone about something that is very important to know. God cares about the little details of your life!!! I'm restarting math, after imagining that I was finished for good, because of my degree requirements and while dishearted, I am not defeated. God is bigger than math and he's given me a song to encourage me. Marching On, by OneRepublic. Such a good song.
Carry on the strength of his might! Act like a princess! (And for all you guys, act like a prince.)
168 waking up with determination
169 chipotle burritos
170 my oldest brother coming over tonight
171 God's willingness to reclaim our past for his glory
172 jalapeno hummus
173 having older, wiser women in my life
174 fluorescent vests for visibility in the dark
176 "quotation marks"
177 getting enough sleep
178 planning surprises